Dedicated career women can’t be awesome moms. This is the opinion of renowned Indra Nooyi, CEO of PepsiCo. And I think she can’t be more wrong.
Indra Nooyi, born in a conservative Tamil family in Southern India and ranked 13th in the Forbes list of the world’s most powerful women, is a true inspiration to every single woman, be it working mom, single moms or just a single working woman. But at an interview at the Aspen Ideas Festival on June 30 by David Bradley, owner of the Atlantic Media Company she made a series of crude remarks about why women can never escalate in their careers and deserve a “Best Mom of the World” coffee mug at the same time.
“I don’t think women can have it all. I just don’t think so. We pretend we have it all. We pretend we can have it all”
“Every day you have to make a decision about whether you are going to be a wife or a mother”, she elaborated.
Indra doesn’t believe she has done justice to her two daughters. “If you ask our daughters, I’m not sure they will say that I’ve been a good mom. I’m not sure.” This really bummed me out.
“I missed most class coffees” she explained, in reference to a weekly parent coffee gathering at her daughters Catholic school.
So it gets down to this: You a bad mother if you can’t make it to a class coffee every Wednesday, 9 am at your child’s school. Is there all to parenting? To be there when they utter their first words, kiss them goodbye and attend playgroups at school?
There might be some light in Indra’s words. “Women can’t have it all”.
There is no way to balance your work and personal life in perfect harmony. The bitter truth. They are compromises to be made and tough decisions that can’t be avoided. You will definitely miss your daughters’ class coffee if you are CEO of PepsiCo. But guess what? That doesn’t mean you have to drown yourself in mommy guilt and label yourself as the worst mother of the year.
News for Indra Nooyi: You are not a bad mother. Stop “dying with guilt”!
Even though her daughters would have been really distressed at that moment about their mother not being present, I am 100% confident they have grown into successful, mature beautiful daughters thanks to their awesome, CEO super- mom, whom they are tremendously proud of.
The fact that Indra posed as a role model for her daughters grooming them into beautiful individuals makes her a GREAT mom. And the fact that she considers her family just as important as her career, maybe even more, is a true sign of being an awesome mom. Because the truth is there is more to parenting than just spoon feeding your child.
The funny thing is, dads do it all the time. They aren’t expected to pack school lunches, give a ride to soccer practice and certainly not attend “class coffees”. Hell, my father missed both my high school and college graduation because he had to work. But they are still GREAT dads, aren’t they? I have never heard of daddy guilt. Have you?
The problem is not that our child thinks we are bad mothers. It because WE think we are bad mothers. We raise our children believing ‘Hey look, mommy has to be there every step of your way. Else she is a bad mommy. Daddy on the other hand, can only be there to kiss you goodnight. Sometimes he might miss that too because he is working. BUT he is still a great dad.’
We are wired to think this way, because the society works this way. Hey, great idea, why not a class coffee for dads? Why are the all mothers expected to be idle to attend one? Because that is what society expects from a woman. The entire purpose of females in this universe, it seems is to marry, produce children and attend to their every need from dawn to the next dawn. Not that there is anything wrong with being a stay at home mom. It all comes down to personal choice. But to label a working mother as a bad parent or worse feeling guilty for not being there for a parent teacher meeting is WRONG.
Attention working moms! Today is the day you stop feeling guilty that you can’t be there to overlook your child’s every step. Yes, juggling work and family is far from an ideal situation. It is difficult. Scratch that. It is darn difficult. But, you still have every right to think about your career and at the same time the well being of your children, without bumming yourself out. This is not a war to choose between your career and your family. Because guess what, you can have both!
Join us now at HerCareer.pk and get yourself a career your inner mum would be proud of!